Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Week 11

Today starts week 11 of Nerdstar's pregnancy. Today was also our first appointment with the ob/gyn office. It's a pretty big practice, six or seven ob's and an NP. I think the plan is to meet a different ob at each appointment so we can meet them all and see which we prefer, but also because you never know which one will be on call when the actual delivery happens. They seemed nice enough this morning.

The doc did another internal ultrasound. Pinhead had its head at an angle that made it hard to determine just how big it is, but the arms and legs are growing in the right places and the heartbeat was at a good rate. (143 I think.) We got a print out of the ultrasound, but not a cd copy. Oh well.

So far Nerdstar hasn't had any of the usual symptoms - no morning sickness or anything. I'm really glad it's been easy for her so far.

One thing that's kinda funny is telling people I'm going to have a baby - but I'm not pregnant. Mostly people at work are the ones I've told. I only see them a few days a month, and most of them knew about Nerdstar and I, but a couple I showed the ultrasound to today didn't. Heh.

Nerdstar isn't close enough to her coworkers to let them know the news until she starts showing. And she certainly isn't out to them. (Not that they'd care, she just isn't as social as I am.) So I joke with her how at least a few will think she's just another loose woman who became a single mom! Heh.

I'm finally starting to worry a lot less. There really isn't a way to express how much I worried the first month. It was terrible.

We're still talking to Pinhead every night. Nerdstar still does food updates. It's still a very well fed baby!

Now it's really just a matter of Pinhead growing. Nothing exciting will happen until week 21 or so when we'll get to learn the gender. That and the first kick are what I'm waiting for!!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Every Night

Every night since we found out Pinhead existed, we've put our hands on Nerdstar's belly one at a time and talked to Pinhead. Every night I say Hi, how glad we are it exists, and mostly to hang in there and not fall out and to keep growing! Nerdstar tends to do a food report every night - you know, what they ate each day and what items were new. I'm not sure there's any other baby that's been fed so many different things so early in it's existence.

The two things I'm looking forward to the most before the actual delivery is when the baby starts to kick and when we find out the gender. I think we're both at the point we don't care if it's a boy or girl. We've spent years joking around about having a "princess" daughter because neither of us has the first clue about how to do hair or anything else.

I know at 8 1/2 weeks we're not out of the woods of danger, but we're getting closer and I'm trying to worry less.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Hello Again Pinhead

Wow. Because Nerdstar is on the older side for pregnancy, and because we went through the fertility place, we got to have our second sonogram today at 8 weeks instead of waiting until week 20 or so. This was one last check up before we have to find an ob/gyn and start seeing them.

Just under 3 weeks ago Pinhead wasn't even 5 mm, today it's at just over 19 mm, or 3/4 of an inch. The heartbeat was 163 bpm which is a little fast, but good. Everything looks fine.

Other than seeing Pinhead, which is amazing, I was also informed I've been miscalculating how far along Nerdstar is by a week, so we're at 8 wks 3 days today. Woohoo!! That's one less week I have to worry about everything under the sun.

So far Nerdstar is feeling fine. This week she started getting a lot more tired in the evenings. But other than that so far so good.

We also bought a little pregnancy journal thingy. Even though we're blogging a lot of this, it'll be cool to have something more tangible.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Baby Deployment

I've talked a little bit about this with a couple of people, thought I'd go ahead and share it here.

The worrying I'm doing over the baby is pretty much the same as the worrying I did over Nerdstar was she was deployed to Iraq. The worry is always in the back of my head, but sometimes it's worse than others. In both cases, at any given moment all could go horribly wrong - and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

Two things are better now - it won't last nearly as long as the military deployment. And I get to at least have Nerdstar in sight most of the time.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Pinhead's Debut!

Nerdstar had her first sonogram today. I was amazed they would even do one this early, we're only on day 27. (They do it internally.)

I was even more amazed that in spite of being only about the size of a piece of rice, we could definitely see a pulsing heartbeat. WOW!

It's not twins as far as they can tell. That's probably for the best, although it sure would have been fun!

Still lots of worrying in my future - but every day I worry a little less. I must admit, this is the one time Nerdstar's lack of worrying is actually helpful for me. Her calm helps me be calm.

We still talk to Pinhead every night, and say our prayers most of them.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Always Has Been Always Will Be

All about the food!

I put on twitter/FB we were wondering about when babies can think.... pixie answered:
@BeththePQ when it kicks after you say something it doesn't like.
Ching: Good one!
me: i replied that you're already asking it to be nice to you
Ching: why not?
me: exactly

Ching: Ask Pinhead! What does it want to eat from day to day... that would be a segment
on our podcast
me: well dear, you have 2 blogs to choose from to put that on
Ching: i know
me: :-)
Ching: what would you ask Pinhead?
me: i dunno yet

Ching: Pinhead likes all the fruits and veggies
me: oh really?
Ching: yeah
me: and you're in deep trouble if it doesn't!
Ching: it asked for more last night
me: uh huh.
Ching: so I went and had an orange.
me: i saw that.
Ching: yeah

Monday, November 16, 2009

For Now It's Pinhead

I really can't express and explain just how long we've been talking about having kids, planning on having kids, joking about having kids. Years. Nerdstar wanted them way before I did. In fact, it was when my brother had my nephew 8 and 1/2 years ago that I first thought, hey, I'd like one of those!

Anyway. It seems like the dream is starting to come true. And it's wonderful and scary as hell. The night after the first positive pee stick I kept waking up in a panic, so afraid she's start her period at any minute. I told her if we made it through the weekend I'd be happy.

I know that as this point most women don't even know they're pregnant. This morning Nerdstar had the official blood test. She's apparently very pregnant, whatever that means. The nurse keeps asking if we want one or two - our answer is yes, one or two would be great!

We're calling it Pinhead because that's about how big it is. I put my hands on Nerdstar's belly every night in bed and tell Pinhead, "Hang in there! Don't fall out!" We thank God for it and ask Him to make it grow. It barely exists and yet I already feel so protective. There are moments it really sinks in how much our lives have just changed. Yet, it's way too early to even start getting things ready. I'm overly aware of just how tentative this little life is for now.

Thursday, November 12, 2009


Yeah, it's a shit picture...

But that really is a positive sign.

The insemination was fifteen days ago. On the other tries, the blood flowed on day 14, so once we made it through yesterday, then through last night, then most of today, we were hopeful enough to do the pee test when she got home from work.

We'll call the doc's office in the morning and see what's next. I told Nerdstar she just has to keep it in there! No letting it fall out :-)

I'm happy, but cautiously so. I know that it could just as easily end tomorrow, or the next day. I'm not sure when I stop holding my breath so to speak. I know I'll cry when there's a sonogram - but it probably won't feel real before then. Although, we're already talking to it!

Nerdstar is already acting like an invalid - saying she's practicing for later. Uh huh.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Take 4

Today was our fourth attempt at getting preggers in two years.

This time was a little different. On Monday morning she went and got an ultrasound or some such thing to see if there was an egg in there ready for action. There was. So, I had to give her a shot in the thigh Monday night to get the egg in motion. This morning we went to the doc's office for the insemination. When Nerdstar looked at the sperms under the microscope all she said was "They're tiny!" That cracked up the doc and nurse.

I was joking with Nerdstar in the waiting room that if this try doesn't take I'm going to start sending her out to bars with one of our single friends and she can get some dude drunk and take advantage of him and get knocked up the old fashioned way :-) The ladies at the doc's office almost thought that was funny.

Now we're back in the two week waiting game. There's no way to not be positive and optimistic and hopeful. But there's also no way to wish a baby into existence. And there's no way to know anything before two weeks is up.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

No Third Time Charm

Sigh. It really sucks to spend 12 days sort of trying not to hope and be optimistic, and then find yourself hoping and being optimistic anyway - only to have all hope and optimism come to an abrupt end.

No baby this try.

But I am optimistic (ugh) it won't be eight months before the next try.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Third Times A Charm?

I didn't really realize just how long it had been since our last try until the other day.

Well, Monday was squirt day. I was so afraid it wasn't all going to work out.

We were in Atlantic City for the weekend, and according to prior tracking, Nerdstar wasn't supposed to ovulate until Monday, which would have been great. But me being me, I took along the pee sticks just in case. Sure enough, 5 a.m. Sunday she gets up to pee and there are two pink lines. Ugh. This meant a whole day of me worrying about things before we could find out possibilities Monday morning.

On her way into work Monday morning Nerdstar has to contact the sperm bank and see if it's possible for me to pick up the container that day. They say yes, but it's an extra $100. Fine. In the past we couldn't pick up the same day we called, so this is good news. Then she has to coordinate with the doctor's office and try to get in on a busy Monday. They tell her to be there before 2. Ugh. Now she has to try to explain to her higher ups at work she all the sudden has a doctor's appointment that afternoon. Not fun. In the meantime, I'm driving an hour one way to go pick up the container.

I get to the doc's office about 1:30, the time Nerdstar and I hoped to meet up there. 2:00 rolls around, then 2:30. The people in the doc's office start feeling bad for me and hoping she makes it in time.

About 2:50 Nerdstar finally gets there and we both a little frustrated. Not a good time to be frustrated - relaxed would be better.

The whole insemination takes maybe twelve minutes - ten of which is Nerdstar lying still after.

The nurse who did the procedure said everything looked perfect.

Now it's the weird time - the time between insemination and seeing if it "took." I compared it to Schrodinger's Cat, although that's probably not an entirely accurate comparison. It's just that there's no way to know if there's a baby in the process of forming or not for two weeks. It takes the first ten days or so for sperm to meet egg, egg to wander around, and then finally implant itself in the uterine wall.

Today is day five. Ten more and we'll know if we get to keep worrying about there being a baby in there.

Thursday, January 22, 2009


Try 2 didn't take either. I read yesterday that the chance of conception any given month is 20-25%. Ugh.

It's weird to feel sad about losing something that in reality never existed. But there are those crazy two weeks when you end up hoping and planning and wishing into being a little human being.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Take 2

Yesterday the planets aligned and Nerdstar was ready for insemination take 2. And this time I got to be there with her. I've been telling her for a very long time now that we're going to have twins - a boy and a girl. So after the nurse did her thing and left Nerdstar to chill for a few minutes, I put my hand on her belly and said "Wonder Twins Activate!" hehehehe

I've also been singing 'I'm gonna knock you up" to the tune of "mama says knock you out".

I have no idea the actual odds of her getting preggers this time. So it's another very, very long two weeks of waiting.