Sigh. It really sucks to spend 12 days sort of trying not to hope and be optimistic, and then find yourself hoping and being optimistic anyway - only to have all hope and optimism come to an abrupt end.
No baby this try.
But I am optimistic (ugh) it won't be eight months before the next try.
I didn't really realize just how long it had been since our last try until the other day.
Well, Monday was squirt day. I was so afraid it wasn't all going to work out.
We were in Atlantic City for the weekend, and according to prior tracking, Nerdstar wasn't supposed to ovulate until Monday, which would have been great. But me being me, I took along the pee sticks just in case. Sure enough, 5 a.m. Sunday she gets up to pee and there are two pink lines. Ugh. This meant a whole day of me worrying about things before we could find out possibilities Monday morning.
On her way into work Monday morning Nerdstar has to contact the sperm bank and see if it's possible for me to pick up the container that day. They say yes, but it's an extra $100. Fine. In the past we couldn't pick up the same day we called, so this is good news. Then she has to coordinate with the doctor's office and try to get in on a busy Monday. They tell her to be there before 2. Ugh. Now she has to try to explain to her higher ups at work she all the sudden has a doctor's appointment that afternoon. Not fun. In the meantime, I'm driving an hour one way to go pick up the container.
I get to the doc's office about 1:30, the time Nerdstar and I hoped to meet up there. 2:00 rolls around, then 2:30. The people in the doc's office start feeling bad for me and hoping she makes it in time.
About 2:50 Nerdstar finally gets there and we both a little frustrated. Not a good time to be frustrated - relaxed would be better.
The whole insemination takes maybe twelve minutes - ten of which is Nerdstar lying still after.
The nurse who did the procedure said everything looked perfect.
Now it's the weird time - the time between insemination and seeing if it "took." I compared it to Schrodinger's Cat, although that's probably not an entirely accurate comparison. It's just that there's no way to know if there's a baby in the process of forming or not for two weeks. It takes the first ten days or so for sperm to meet egg, egg to wander around, and then finally implant itself in the uterine wall.
Today is day five. Ten more and we'll know if we get to keep worrying about there being a baby in there.