Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Baby Deployment

I've talked a little bit about this with a couple of people, thought I'd go ahead and share it here.

The worrying I'm doing over the baby is pretty much the same as the worrying I did over Nerdstar was she was deployed to Iraq. The worry is always in the back of my head, but sometimes it's worse than others. In both cases, at any given moment all could go horribly wrong - and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

Two things are better now - it won't last nearly as long as the military deployment. And I get to at least have Nerdstar in sight most of the time.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Pinhead's Debut!

Nerdstar had her first sonogram today. I was amazed they would even do one this early, we're only on day 27. (They do it internally.)

I was even more amazed that in spite of being only about the size of a piece of rice, we could definitely see a pulsing heartbeat. WOW!

It's not twins as far as they can tell. That's probably for the best, although it sure would have been fun!

Still lots of worrying in my future - but every day I worry a little less. I must admit, this is the one time Nerdstar's lack of worrying is actually helpful for me. Her calm helps me be calm.

We still talk to Pinhead every night, and say our prayers most of them.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Always Has Been Always Will Be

All about the food!

me:
I put on twitter/FB we were wondering about when babies can think.... pixie answered:
@BeththePQ when it kicks after you say something it doesn't like.
Ching: Good one!
me: i replied that you're already asking it to be nice to you
Ching: why not?
me: exactly

Ching: Ask Pinhead! What does it want to eat from day to day... that would be a segment
on our podcast
me: well dear, you have 2 blogs to choose from to put that on
Ching: i know
me: :-)
Ching: what would you ask Pinhead?
me: i dunno yet

Ching: Pinhead likes all the fruits and veggies
me: oh really?
Ching: yeah
me: and you're in deep trouble if it doesn't!
Ching: it asked for more last night
me: uh huh.
Ching: so I went and had an orange.
me: i saw that.
Ching: yeah
hehehehe

Monday, November 16, 2009

For Now It's Pinhead

I really can't express and explain just how long we've been talking about having kids, planning on having kids, joking about having kids. Years. Nerdstar wanted them way before I did. In fact, it was when my brother had my nephew 8 and 1/2 years ago that I first thought, hey, I'd like one of those!

Anyway. It seems like the dream is starting to come true. And it's wonderful and scary as hell. The night after the first positive pee stick I kept waking up in a panic, so afraid she's start her period at any minute. I told her if we made it through the weekend I'd be happy.

I know that as this point most women don't even know they're pregnant. This morning Nerdstar had the official blood test. She's apparently very pregnant, whatever that means. The nurse keeps asking if we want one or two - our answer is yes, one or two would be great!

We're calling it Pinhead because that's about how big it is. I put my hands on Nerdstar's belly every night in bed and tell Pinhead, "Hang in there! Don't fall out!" We thank God for it and ask Him to make it grow. It barely exists and yet I already feel so protective. There are moments it really sinks in how much our lives have just changed. Yet, it's way too early to even start getting things ready. I'm overly aware of just how tentative this little life is for now.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Positive

Yeah, it's a shit picture...


But that really is a positive sign.

The insemination was fifteen days ago. On the other tries, the blood flowed on day 14, so once we made it through yesterday, then through last night, then most of today, we were hopeful enough to do the pee test when she got home from work.

We'll call the doc's office in the morning and see what's next. I told Nerdstar she just has to keep it in there! No letting it fall out :-)

I'm happy, but cautiously so. I know that it could just as easily end tomorrow, or the next day. I'm not sure when I stop holding my breath so to speak. I know I'll cry when there's a sonogram - but it probably won't feel real before then. Although, we're already talking to it!

Nerdstar is already acting like an invalid - saying she's practicing for later. Uh huh.