Saturday, June 4, 2011

Couldn't Imagine

How funny, I'm not doing the non-challenge of 30 days of blog posts, but yesterday on FB I wrote, "It's amazing the things about being a parent you really can't imagine before being one." which is one of the topics. A friend asked "such as?"

So far I've come up with that there's not only the way my heart grows with love for him, the joy of hearing him laugh, watching him grow and learn and change.

But there's also the abject terror that something awful will happen to them. I started worrying about him the minute we saw the positive sign on the pregnancy test. That worrying is like a constant white noise, it's not bad, just always there.

There's also how it's a 24/7 gig. Even if he's asleep, and now that he shows up in my dreams, even if I'm asleep, there's still a part of my brain that's devoted to him.

Nerdstar said she hasn't been surprised by any of it. I spent a lot of years avoiding thinking about actually having kids because I was so afraid it would never happen. I'm so glad it did!

1 comment:

Val said...

That 'on' feeling until they're about 10 is something kind of hard to describe to non-parents but it's tough and draining. It's always good when you have a good co-parent to kind let you have some 'down' time, though! :)

What has just occured to me (now that i've read this in your blog) is that when they turn 10, it's a little different... as they are doing that balancing act of needing you yet trying to spread their wings... it's kind of cool!

Enjoy the 'on' period of time, as it's precious and really fulfilling!