How funny, I'm not doing the non-challenge of 30 days of blog posts, but yesterday on FB I wrote, "It's amazing the things about being a parent you really can't imagine before being one." which is one of the topics. A friend asked "such as?"
So far I've come up with that there's not only the way my heart grows with love for him, the joy of hearing him laugh, watching him grow and learn and change.
But there's also the abject terror that something awful will happen to them. I started worrying about him the minute we saw the positive sign on the pregnancy test. That worrying is like a constant white noise, it's not bad, just always there.
There's also how it's a 24/7 gig. Even if he's asleep, and now that he shows up in my dreams, even if I'm asleep, there's still a part of my brain that's devoted to him.
Nerdstar said she hasn't been surprised by any of it. I spent a lot of years avoiding thinking about actually having kids because I was so afraid it would never happen. I'm so glad it did!
5 years ago