5 Weeks

It's been a long, full, fun, frustrating five weeks.

Five weeks ago, Nerdstar lost her job.  I was ready to pack up the house, put it on the market, and head on down to whichever city in Texas and start over.  Nerdstar, not quite as ready.

Because she was getting paid to not work for three weeks, and then cash out almost 100 hours of leave,  we decided to take that time and see what happened.  She had a couple of local jobs that might come through.  It would also give her some time to talk to a few people and see if there was anything for her job-wise down in Texas.

On the last day of her paid three weeks, she got the official job offer here in northern Virginia.  Slightly higher pay than her last job, but back to a stupid commute.

We decided the job here in NOVA would be a good thing.  It buys us time.  Time to look more into things in Texas.  And it would also allow us to buy a house down in Texas before having a job down there.  (more on that coming up)

Anyway.  Noah and I have been lucky enough to have Nerdstar home with us for these few weeks.  I'm not sure it was exactly a vacation for either one of us.  Noah has so much more energy with her, and bosses her around so much more!  Some days it was nice taking a back seat and letting her handle things.  Other days it just felt like I had two kids.

One cool thing was that Nerdstar's sister was already planning a visit for Memorial Day weekend, so she had time for that.

This also allowed me to go to a nearby casino and play some poker.  I got lucky (and played decently) and doubled my money in a couple of hours.  I then took a hundred of that and played craps for all of ten minutes and walked away with $240.  I love to play a $5 12 - which means the next roll of the dice will be a 12 and it pays 30X your bet - $150 on $5.  Yep, I hit it!

We decided to go ahead and take a little vacation down to Texas before the new job started.  Noah needed some family time and we needed some of our favorite foods.  The money I won at the casino was our spending money and it lasted 90% of the trip!

The trip to Texas was crazy in that it sort of changed our positions on moving to Texas.  It made me a little more cautious and Nerdstar a little more ready.  But for now I think that's another post.

Slippery Slope

Those darn slippery slopes.  Nerdstar's sister gave her a kindle for her b-day.  It's cool, but we don't really need it for web surfing or anything and so far haven't had time to load or read any books on it. 

Noah's speech therapist has some learning apps on her iPad and will let Noah play one or two at the end of their sessions.  We loaded one of those apps for Noah on the kindle to use when we go out to eat at "real" restaurants.  It works like a champ.  But, we used it a bit much on vacation. 

This evening Noah wanted to play his app while watching his cartoons.  I guess at least he can multi-task.  He has his snacks, juice, app and cartoon. 

Trip Pics

Me and Noah on the Zilker Express.

Noah loved this hat at the children's museum in Austin.  

This is him playing with all the fake food at the children's museum. 

Vacations Then and Now

Nerdstar and I have always traveled a lot.  Before Iraq, we'd go to Vegas once a year.  Before and since we've done tons of road trips - covering most of the US.  We're not club people, or drinking and dancing people.  But we like to gamble, to eat good food, to maybe hear some music, walk around new towns and people watch.  I'd have to say other than our big road trips, my favorite trip was when I got to meet up with her in Tokyo for a few days.

Now, we have Noah.  And for these few years of him being young, it's really changed how we think of vacations.

Thankfully, he travels really well.  He loves buses and trains and escalators and elevators.  He loves hotels and the big beds.  He loves people and car watching.  He loves running around where ever he is.  He does well in a car for day trips.

On this trip, thankfully we had direct flights that were only about 3 hours long.  But those last twenty-five minutes, when he was tired and we had to literally hold him down in the seat while he cried and protested, was hard.  I felt so bad for him, he just didn't understand why he couldn't get up and run around, why we here holding him down.  I told Nerdstar our good deed for the day was making other parents feel good that it wasn't their kid being upset.

So, when we travel now we have to find things Noah can do, or really, places he can run around.  And he's not old enough we can go places for kids and just drop him off for a while.  And this trip he didn't nap, so earlier in the evening we were all tired and thus nice dinners weren't much of an option.

I asked Nerdstar if other people with toddlers just don't take vacations, or if they drop the kid(s) off with grandparents (which we thought about, but again he's just not quite ready for that).  Do people leave their kids in the hotel room with snacks and movies or games and go eat without them?

We know it will get better and better over time.  And Noah is so fun to take places right up until that moment when he's not fun at all.  Those thirty minutes or so a day we're all too handle each other.

Not Ready For This!

We've known this day was coming, and while we're glad it took this long, we're not really ready.

Noah got all the way out of his crib after we put him down for a nap.

Nerdstar and I were downstairs about to watch a dvd, we got through the previews when we heard a couple of "thuds" from upstairs.  Huh?  We looked at each other and hoped we hadn't heard what we heard.  We didn't hear anything else for a few minutes.  Then we thought we heard Noah say something.  Uh oh.  A couple of minutes later - more footsteps.  Yep, he was just standing at the top of the stairs.

We're pretty sure we've got to change his crib now - it converts to a bed with one really short side and the rest still the regular crib.  We'd hate for him to twist his knee or ankle while getting out.  Although, he seems to be fairly careful when we watched him do it the second time we put him down for a nap.

The only saving grace is that because of the child safety thing in his bedroom door, he can get out of bed, but he can't get out of his room.  We've long imagined him finally figuring out how to get out of his crib and then coming down the stairs to come find us or something in the dark.  Although, he's not a big fan of the dark.

We put him down for a nap one last time, because he really was tired.  Then we left and closed his door.  Yep, he got out one more time and then played mostly quietly in his room for over an hour.

So.  Nap times and bed times are about to be a lot of fun.  I don't have too much trouble getting him to take naps.  But now that he'll be able to get in and out of bed - who knows.  I guess it'll be a policy of "nap" time - you stay in bed or your room until I come and get you.  But it's much harder for Nerdstar to get him to sleep at night.  No idea how that will ever work.  We'll have to see.

We're looking forward to being woken up to the sounds of him playing at who knows what hours of the night/morning - especially if he decides to turn up the volume on his keyboard!  

Then or Now?

Once again inspired by FB comments and conversations with my Nerdstar.

I'm sure as all mother's do, I think about how parenting was for my Mom.  Not the was she a good Mom or not question, (like all mothers she was both, but the good far outweighs the bad) but did she deal with some of the same issues moms face now.

One caveat to this discussion is that I'm an older mom, so the gap between when I was Noah's age is much bigger than for other moms.

Nerdstar and I were talking about all of the pressure from other moms to be the perfect mother.  It's as if parenting (much more for women than men I think) has become a competitive sport.  From blogs to magazine articles and who knows what else, there are all these ways to get the message "you're not doing it right."  Is it because we communicate so much more through social media than face to face?  I just can't imagine my mom and her friends telling each other the types of things I read these days.  I don't know.

Then, on FB there was a comment about was it better for our parents that cartoons and kid's shows were only on when they were on and there was no you.tube or on demand.

I remember as a kid watching cartoons while getting ready for school in the mornings.  Casper, Popeye, Tom and Jerry, Felix the Cat, old Mickey Mouse.  Then there might be a few more cartoons in the afternoons (maybe that's when Tom and Jerry was on).  And if I got up early enough, there might be Saturday morning cartoons.  But honestly, I remember Soul Train on Saturdays more than cartoons.

So, in some ways I think it's better now.  More choices and at any time.  You don't have to have a set time every day that's "tv time" you can watch it when wanted or needed.  Noah doesn't understand real time tv, but she absolutely knows what the "skip ad" button on you.tube is.

Also, you.tube and on demand give parents the option to skip all those ads targeting children - that alone is worth it!

Lazy Wins

(Disclaimer, parts of this are from FB)

Noah has definitely hit the "play everything ten times back to back" phase of life. It's a blessing and a curse the iPod had a "repeat" button. It does save me from having to get up and manually restart the song every time. (No, we don't have a remote control for it.) We're on the fourth viewing of this particular Curious George video. All I can say about Curious George is that after two days I'd send him back to the jungle.   

So far, our saving grace is that Noah still has decent taste in what he watches/listens to. I'm pretty adamant about never letting him see for the first time things I won't watch 100 times - like Elmo! Curious George isn't my favorite, but it's harmless. He also really likes Mickey Mouse Club House, which is fine.  He'll also watch Jake and the Neverland Pirates and Sophia the First.  Disney Jr. has too many commercials, so I'm glad our On-Demand has all these shows.  Also, our boy just doesn't understand commercials or viewing schedules - heh.  He does totally understand the "skip ad" button on you.tube.

One really cool thing from Noah's video viewing is that thanks to some really cheesy, cheap animated videos with trains carrying the letters of the alphabet, numbers, and shapes - Noah is learning those things without us teaching him.  He picked these videos all on his own.  I'm glad this bodes well for using something like Kahn Academy in the future.

His language development is still coming along slow and steady.  He talks all the time and tells us these long stories, but we still don't understand most of it.  When he really needs to ask or tell us something he usually knows enough words to get his point across.  

Which brings me to Parenting/Teaching approaches.  Ugh.

Two years or so ago I read the books that were really against "child led" stuff.  It was all about the parent setting the eating/sleeping schedule and everything else.  Sounded reasonable.  And then we had a hard-headed son who, while a very good kid, also seems to set his own schedule/agenda.  

So, in some ways, lazy won.  Because he's not anywhere near unreasonable, we let Noah lead a lot.  

Mostly, I believe he's got a lifetime of having to do things on other people's terms and time tables.  He's still very young, and happy, and sweet.  He's social, and curious.

Where we're running into trouble already is with the school system and his speech therapist - who is a developmental therapist not a speech therapist.  She's consistently advised we put him in pre-school to work on his attention span and essentially - compliance.  Um, No.  He's been two this entire time, and his attention span is just fine for his age.  She brought it up again last week, suggesting pre-school in the Fall.  I didn't explain to her all the reasons we don't want to do that.  We don't think it's normal for kids under four or five to sit and conform.  The whole reason I'm staying home with him is to avoid such things. 

Her one hour a week with him, and her determination to get him to sit and pay attention and complete tasks has prevented her from seeing his actual development.  It's been a little frustrating.  

Anyway.  The point is we have a great kid.  He takes a lot of energy, but it's worth it.  

Oh, and the right bribe at the right time is still the best way to help him choose to do good.