Hello Again Pinhead

Wow. Because Nerdstar is on the older side for pregnancy, and because we went through the fertility place, we got to have our second sonogram today at 8 weeks instead of waiting until week 20 or so. This was one last check up before we have to find an ob/gyn and start seeing them.

Just under 3 weeks ago Pinhead wasn't even 5 mm, today it's at just over 19 mm, or 3/4 of an inch. The heartbeat was 163 bpm which is a little fast, but good. Everything looks fine.

Other than seeing Pinhead, which is amazing, I was also informed I've been miscalculating how far along Nerdstar is by a week, so we're at 8 wks 3 days today. Woohoo!! That's one less week I have to worry about everything under the sun.

So far Nerdstar is feeling fine. This week she started getting a lot more tired in the evenings. But other than that so far so good.

We also bought a little pregnancy journal thingy. Even though we're blogging a lot of this, it'll be cool to have something more tangible.

Baby Deployment

I've talked a little bit about this with a couple of people, thought I'd go ahead and share it here.

The worrying I'm doing over the baby is pretty much the same as the worrying I did over Nerdstar was she was deployed to Iraq. The worry is always in the back of my head, but sometimes it's worse than others. In both cases, at any given moment all could go horribly wrong - and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

Two things are better now - it won't last nearly as long as the military deployment. And I get to at least have Nerdstar in sight most of the time.

Pinhead's Debut!

Nerdstar had her first sonogram today. I was amazed they would even do one this early, we're only on day 27. (They do it internally.)

I was even more amazed that in spite of being only about the size of a piece of rice, we could definitely see a pulsing heartbeat. WOW!

It's not twins as far as they can tell. That's probably for the best, although it sure would have been fun!

Still lots of worrying in my future - but every day I worry a little less. I must admit, this is the one time Nerdstar's lack of worrying is actually helpful for me. Her calm helps me be calm.

We still talk to Pinhead every night, and say our prayers most of them.

Always Has Been Always Will Be

All about the food!

me: I put on twitter/FB we were wondering about when babies can think.... pixie answered:
@BeththePQ when it kicks after you say something it doesn't like.

Ching: Good one!

me: i replied that you're already asking it to be nice to you

Ching: why not?

me: exactly

Ching: Ask Pinhead! What does it want to eat from day to day... that would be a segment

on our podcast

me: well dear, you have 2 blogs to choose from to put that on

Ching: i know

me: :-)

Ching: what would you ask Pinhead?
me: i dunno yet

Ching: Pinhead likes all the fruits and veggies

me: oh really?

Ching: yeah

me: and you're in deep trouble if it doesn't!

Ching: it asked for more last night

me: uh huh.

Ching: so I went and had an orange.

me: i saw that.

Ching: yeah

hehehehe

For Now It's Pinhead

I really can't express and explain just how long we've been talking about having kids, planning on having kids, joking about having kids. Years. Nerdstar wanted them way before I did. In fact, it was when my brother had my nephew 8 and 1/2 years ago that I first thought, hey, I'd like one of those!

Anyway. It seems like the dream is starting to come true. And it's wonderful and scary as hell. The night after the first positive pee stick I kept waking up in a panic, so afraid she's start her period at any minute. I told her if we made it through the weekend I'd be happy.

I know that as this point most women don't even know they're pregnant. This morning Nerdstar had the official blood test. She's apparently very pregnant, whatever that means. The nurse keeps asking if we want one or two - our answer is yes, one or two would be great!

We're calling it Pinhead because that's about how big it is. I put my hands on Nerdstar's belly every night in bed and tell Pinhead, "Hang in there! Don't fall out!" We thank God for it and ask Him to make it grow. It barely exists and yet I already feel so protective. There are moments it really sinks in how much our lives have just changed. Yet, it's way too early to even start getting things ready. I'm overly aware of just how tentative this little life is for now.

Positive

Yeah, it's a shit picture...


But that really is a positive sign.

The insemination was fifteen days ago. On the other tries, the blood flowed on day 14, so once we made it through yesterday, then through last night, then most of today, we were hopeful enough to do the pee test when she got home from work.

We'll call the doc's office in the morning and see what's next. I told Nerdstar she just has to keep it in there! No letting it fall out :-)

I'm happy, but cautiously so. I know that it could just as easily end tomorrow, or the next day. I'm not sure when I stop holding my breath so to speak. I know I'll cry when there's a sonogram - but it probably won't feel real before then. Although, we're already talking to it!

Nerdstar is already acting like an invalid - saying she's practicing for later. Uh huh.

Take 4

Today was our fourth attempt at getting preggers in two years.

This time was a little different. On Monday morning she went and got an ultrasound or some such thing to see if there was an egg in there ready for action. There was. So, I had to give her a shot in the thigh Monday night to get the egg in motion. This morning we went to the doc's office for the insemination. When Nerdstar looked at the sperms under the microscope all she said was "They're tiny!" That cracked up the doc and nurse.

I was joking with Nerdstar in the waiting room that if this try doesn't take I'm going to start sending her out to bars with one of our single friends and she can get some dude drunk and take advantage of him and get knocked up the old fashioned way :-) The ladies at the doc's office almost thought that was funny.

Now we're back in the two week waiting game. There's no way to not be positive and optimistic and hopeful. But there's also no way to wish a baby into existence. And there's no way to know anything before two weeks is up.